A fish walks into a bar

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

Obama

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

knock knock go away

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

Chuck Norris died.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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