a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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BIG PENIS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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NEVER

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops