Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Global Warming.

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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You.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Come in.

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women's rights

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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