What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Jesus wept.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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YOLO

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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