What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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I like your hair

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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George W. Bush

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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