One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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