What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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George W. Bush

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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DERP

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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