Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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apple pie.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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