A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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The

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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your fat

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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France never surrender.

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balls in ya mouf

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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