A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Women's rights

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Dallas Cowboys

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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