Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

knock knock go away

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

A joke

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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