99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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does this look unsure to you?

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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William Raines.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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