A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Your mom.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Jess Burns

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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why did the chicken cross the road

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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Obama

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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