Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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What what In the butt

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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I like your hair

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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