Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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An antijoke

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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to see a bad joke look above

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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does this look unsure to you?

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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knock knock go away

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops