There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

Jess Burns

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

What what In the butt

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

A fish walks into a bar

to see a bad joke look above

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

Obama

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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