Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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A joke

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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A scottish man having fun

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Dallas Cowboys

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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