Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

I Love Hitler.

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

apple pie.

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

P0P T4Rt

I like jokes.

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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