Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops