Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Carlton

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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