what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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8=>

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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