Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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A joke

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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