What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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The government makes a good decision

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Ben is gay

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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