What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

87

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A black guy walks in to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

8=>

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops