Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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wat?

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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France never surrender.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Liars go to hell! -God

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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9/11.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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