A joke

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Chuck Norris died.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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