whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

thumb_up thumb_down -104

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -134

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +31

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

AND

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops