Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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apple pie.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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wat?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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P0P T4Rt

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Hair

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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