Hair

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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8=>

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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An antijoke

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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