Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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I like your hair

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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wat?

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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P0P T4Rt

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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