How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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American healthcare.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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wat?

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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