What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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