What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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apple pie.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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