Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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knock knock go away

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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George W. Bush

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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You.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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