How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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BIG PENIS

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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AND

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What what In the butt

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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