Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Women's rights.

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You're on fire.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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