What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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21

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti jokes are funny

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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