a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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