How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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I'm Spartacus

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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