Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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I'm Spartacus

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black

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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dildo

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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mitt romney

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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