A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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8=>

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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