What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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France never surrender.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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