Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what rhymes with sloth? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -16

87

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Amish walks into Best Buy

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -72

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -82

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

thumb_up thumb_down +31

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops