There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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youre gay

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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BIG PENIS

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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