How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Liars go to hell! -God

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

87

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops