how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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AND

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Ruller

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Asians...

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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