What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Five guys one rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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