guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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You.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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wat?

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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