What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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I love you.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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women's rights

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Winking at old people

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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