What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops