there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

A man sat down Then he stood up

hi bye

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

ASSCHEEKS

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

Hair

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

So this blonde walks into a library.

An Amish walks into Best Buy

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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