How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

AND

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

DERP

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

American healthcare.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your fat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops