Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +1

apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops