How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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Guess what? SHADAP

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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hi bye

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CHEEZECAKE

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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