A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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