there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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