How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -69

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +128

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops