how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

why did the chicken cross the road

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

tim tebow is a great quarterback

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

The Mets win the World Series

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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