"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Your mom.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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