A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

what color is blue? green

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

Ruller

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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