A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

what rhymes with sloth? rape

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

mitt romney

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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