Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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