How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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noodles

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Female Athletics

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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