Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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