-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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A joke

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Laura Pratz..

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Rick Perry.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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noodles

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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The Bible

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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