whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

The

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

your fat

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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