What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Asians...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two Jews walk in a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

thumb_up thumb_down

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops