How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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A joke

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Laura Pratz..

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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noodles

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Rick Perry.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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The Bible

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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45.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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