Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Goat balls.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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Kim Kardashian.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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