An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Five guys one rape.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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