What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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mitt romney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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