How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Rick Perry.

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I Love Hitler.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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apple pie.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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