How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Kim Kardashian.

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

women's rights

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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