Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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NEVER

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Rick Perry.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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