Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops