Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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