wanna hear a joke? no

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Women's Rights

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Asians...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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