What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Rick Perry.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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mitt romney

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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