What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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George W. Bush

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apple pie.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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The Mets win the World Series

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Womens Sports

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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