Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Female Athletics

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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