The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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