Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your fat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops