What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Ruller

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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NEVER

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Kim Kardashian.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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