I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Asians...

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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45.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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