Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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