Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +38

This site is hilarious oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops