Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Jews walk in a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops