how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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