Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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mitt romney

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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Five guys one rape.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Women's rights.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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