Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Your mom.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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NEVER

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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