there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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what color is blue? green

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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69

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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