Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Where to, sir? Forward.

What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

What do you call your mother? Mom.

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

Laura Pratz..

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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