Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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