what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Rick Perry.

noodles

apple pie.

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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