What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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