What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Women's rights.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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