How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +38

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the chicken cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big and black? A black fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

JUSTIN BEING SMART

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Look at your hand. Made you look!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops