What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

women's rights

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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