Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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noodles

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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The Bible

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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