Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Cracked.com the only (depressive) "humor" site.

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Goat balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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