Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

Two Jews walk in a bar...

You.

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

A man sat down Then he stood up

Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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