Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Five guys one rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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