What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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I like your hair

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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DERP

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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noodles

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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