Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Asians...

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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I love you.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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