how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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