What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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wat?

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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what color is blue? green

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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