Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What what In the butt

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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I like your hair

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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women's rights

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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