What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Goat balls.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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