Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Goat balls.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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A fish walks into a bar

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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NEVER

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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