DERP

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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ASSCHEEKS

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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9/11.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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son, you're adopted.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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