My life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I AM DISSAPOINTED

thumb_up thumb_down -2

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +61

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops