A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

Laura Pratz..

Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

Johnny just finished his pie.

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

dildo

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

ASSCHEEKS

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

what rhymes with sloth? rape

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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