Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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make me a sandwich!

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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