Goat balls.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Female Athletics

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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