You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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hi bye

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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what color is blue? green

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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Women's rights.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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