A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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NEVER

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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