Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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France never surrender.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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