NEVER

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

Rick Perry.

The Mets win the World Series

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

your fat

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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