If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +63

youre gay

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Popsicles

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +37

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops