what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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