Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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guess what?

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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ASSCHEEKS

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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