Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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noodles

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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The Bible

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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