Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Women's rights.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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French people.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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