Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

noodles

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

France never surrender.

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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