Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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