How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Women's Rights...

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make me a sandwich!

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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