Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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noodles

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Rick Perry.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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The Mets win the World Series

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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France never surrender.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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