what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

thumb_up thumb_down -117

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Jews who wear penny loafers...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops