What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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France never surrender.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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9/11.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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