Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women's Rights...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops