Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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The

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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theres a fat guy

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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