Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Rick Perry.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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