So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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I like your hair

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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apple pie.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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