Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

What do you call your mother? Mom.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

French people.

What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

noodles

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

Rick Perry.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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