How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops