Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -19

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops