What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

NEVER

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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