You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Winking at old people

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Women's rights.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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