Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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I'm Spartacus

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Women's rights.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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