doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops