I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Military intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops