ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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noodles

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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women's rights

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Womens Sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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