What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call your mother? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

DERP

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women's Rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops