What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down -84

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops