How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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45.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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