What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Women's rights.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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