A man sat down Then he stood up

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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