Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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My life

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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noodles

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops