What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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I like your hair

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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noodles

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Rick Perry.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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The Mets win the World Series

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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45.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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