How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Military intelligence.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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What's big? Jupiter.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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