Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops