Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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black

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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