Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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