What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Rick Perry.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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