So a seal walks into a club...

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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