In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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Hair

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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