Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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I Love Hitler.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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guess what?

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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