Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Women's rights.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops