What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -52

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -56

So this blonde walks into a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

thumb_up thumb_down -90

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops