Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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