Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Lacrosse

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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The Bible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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