You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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make me a sandwich!

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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9/11.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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