Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +47

a black guy with rights in 1924

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops