A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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who just made fun of katie matt

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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women's rights

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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