Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Mets win the World Series

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Winking at old people

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -48

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops