What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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