Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops