What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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apple pie.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Female Athletics

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Women's Rights...

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops