There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops