Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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The.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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Asians...

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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women's rights

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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