- Anti Joke

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

Laura Pratz..

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

The Bible

What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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