"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats 9 + 10 19

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops