Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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