Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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