Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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