What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

Where to, sir? Forward.

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

My life

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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