make me a sandwich!

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops