Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

Women's Rights...

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

45.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...