Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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women's rights

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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