Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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