- Anti Joke

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment. Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

Whats 9 + 10 19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

mitt romney

what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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