Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Like my status for a tbh?

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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