What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black guy gets arrested...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops