do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Laura Pratz..

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My life

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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