Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Women's rights.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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Kim Kardashian.

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The joke below me is retarded

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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