How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Penis.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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