why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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