What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Oh...okay, good.

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Penis.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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