My nipple is bleeding

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Laura Pratz..

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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The Bible

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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P0P T4Rt

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Carlton

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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