Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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My life

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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