What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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noodles

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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A black man without problems.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops