What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Lacrosse

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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