- Anti Joke

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

69.... is a number

Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

Guess what? SHADAP

What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _| -' \ '####, ------- /____\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \\\\ || |||| ||// |||| |||| |||| /)/) //// //// ////. .' '. '. (_kOs))

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

YOLO

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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