What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +41

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +33

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The AIDS patient was gay

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops