Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down +11

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

69.... is a number

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -7

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops