Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops