An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Five guys one rape.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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