There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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