How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

How Long is a Chinese man.

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

The joke below me is retarded

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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