What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Gay rights

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops