What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Itookasipasoda

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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