How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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666

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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