Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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The Aristocrats

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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