What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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