What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where to, sir? Forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

thumb_up thumb_down -26

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -50

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops