Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

Penis.

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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