What's brown? My toilet hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -60

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +39

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The AIDS patient was gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops