Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops