What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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