Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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The joke below me is retarded

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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black

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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