A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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69.... is a number

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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make me a sandwich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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