How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Gay rights

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops