Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +39

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where to, sir? Forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops