knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man without problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +120

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops