Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Poop.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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theres a fat guy

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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