did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man without problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +103

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops