How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

A hayride would be fun.

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

America Votes

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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