A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Laura Pratz..

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Gay rights

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guess what?

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Poop.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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