What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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I love you very much.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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A hayride would be fun.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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America Votes

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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