Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +86

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

666

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Popsicles

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +20

1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops