Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Jews walk in a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops