What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Politics.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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666

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops