Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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My nipple is bleeding

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Hi my name is Bob

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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