What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Yah? Well your a ********

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

My mom touched my wiener : \

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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