A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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