A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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black

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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I love you very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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