Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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guess what?

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Poop.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops