How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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The joke below me is retarded

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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