Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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69.... is a number

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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