A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Diana and victoria

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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69.... is a number

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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