What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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69.... is a number

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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