A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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My nipple is bleeding

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Hi my name is Bob

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Poop.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops