I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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