Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

Gay rights

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

my names jim haha

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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