Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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