A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Diana and victoria

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops