Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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Women's Rights

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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