A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +36

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops