Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Hitler. lol, sucks.

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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