What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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Poop.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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