Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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My nipple is bleeding

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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YOLO

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Popsicles

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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