A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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