What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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