I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops