What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops