Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Women's Rights

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Yah? Well your a ********

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Hi my name is Bob

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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