What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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YOLO

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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