- Anti Joke

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

a man walks into a bar and dies

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

Hey, you have small hands.

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops