My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +50

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops