how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Netball.

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Womens Basketball.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops