Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Penis.

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Itookasipasoda

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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