What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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