What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Arrow to the Knee

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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