Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Yo Mamma

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops