Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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