A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Diana and victoria

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops