Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

Hey, you have small hands.

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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