Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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66

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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