Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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i like pie

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Womens rights

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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