A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Womens Basketball.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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clamidia

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops