Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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anti-joke teehee

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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