Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Arrow to the Knee

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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I'm funny.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Your mother is so fat.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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i have cancer

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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