A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -64

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops