- Anti Joke

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

minorities

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops