You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

66

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yah? Well your a ********

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops