What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey, you have small hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops