knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

black

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo Mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops