My nipple is bleeding

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

Yo Mamma

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

wanna hear a joke? no

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

Where does a hobo live? A box.

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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