What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -123

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops